January 5, 2008. I was fifteen and in the arms of my prince charming, every moment we had together led us up to this day. We sat in the dark for quite some time, exercising our tongues together. What felt like hours was only about thirty minutes. We touched each other in inappropriate ways like the adults did in romantic movies. Thoughts raced through my head like cars on a Sunday night illegal street race. I was so caught in the moment I was unable to grasp the reality of what was really going on. I was taking my own “womanhood” to a whole new level.
Gazing into his eyes pulled me back to the summer before freshman year. I got dropped off at church; it was a beautiful, sunny day with a cool breeze to make the temperature perfect. A new kid. Someone I had never seen before, for some reason I felt myself being drawn to him. Knowing nothing about him only made him that more mesmerizing. He was like nothing I had seen before; he wore a bright yellow shirt with the collar “popped.” He had pitch black hair with eyelashes that looked like butterflies trying to escape every time he blinked. I carefully watched him make his way to a crowd of teens that were all Mexican, “Cheds” is what I called them. I found myself walking towards him ready to get my mack on.
I gently said to him in my high pitched voice, “Hi, I’m Alyssa. What’s your name?”
He answered back with an accent that was of Mexican descent, “Heriberto Tena.”
I wittingly answered, “Hairy Burrito what?”
We both immediately bursted into laughter and he corrected with a polite, “You can call me Beto.”
He thrusted his body against me breaking me out of the memory I was stuck in. The way he felt against me made it easy for me to let him enter me. The pain was unbearable, but he was so excited he pushed himself in just a little more each time. I loved him so I decided to let him. Life for me as a young lady was changing; I always told the people I taught at church “If you’re not ready to have babies you’re not ready for sex.” Well that night I ate my words.
I was ready to be done so I whispered “I want you to finish.”
When he got off me I sat up, got myself together and said, “Let’s go see what everyone’s doing.”
He replied with an, “Okay my love.”
I opened the door and looked around for my siblings to my surprise no one was home. Now, being a part of a family of eight and no one being home was an unusual situation. We treaded up the stairs and I was vulnerable I felt regret in my heart and it happen just like my mom said, “After you have sex for the first time, your body will never be the same.” My body instantly felt different, like a little part of me really was missing.
He looks at me and instantly hounded me with questions like, “What’s wrong? Did I do something to upset you?”
I answered back with a simple “No, it’s nothing I’m fine.”
He didn’t believe me but in all honesty everything was wrong with me. I committed adultery; I sinned against God and my future husband. This boy was my center focus for so long I wanted to do anything in my power to make him happy, he now had me soul and body.
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